UPDATE:  433 as of 9/10/15.  I have done nothing.

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426.

This is how many people are “following” me on Twitter.

This number consists of friends, family, acquaintances, work colleagues, stalkers, members of common organizations, people I have followed throwing out an obligatory follow-back, that guy I met at the club that day, that girl I talked to at the leadership summit, the potential client I connected with at that networking happy hour, the person who liked a comment made two years ago, my friends kids, my dog, and possibly your dog too.

This number represents my total lack of effort at actually forming a Twitter “presence”.

Be engaging! Be witty! Be proactive! Be a force for change!

The focal point of our new world order is an all-encompassing Social Media ostensibly meant to connect us with the world and give our individual voices a platform upon which to share our “uniqueness” with others. Blah. We can harness this power to share ideologies and educate the world with our expert opinions. Blah blah. We too can effect change, by exchanging ideas for making the world a better/cleaner/happier/adjective place. Blah x 3.

Or maybe to share what we are for eating dinner. And where. And with whom. And here’s a picture of a plate covered with that dinner we are eating at that place with so-and-so don’t you wish you were here?

Enough already!

Personally, I find it exhausting. Deciding what to wear most mornings for work is hard enough (where I will physically plant my butt on my office chair in front of my office computer and deal with physically present co-workers). Deciding how to enthrall my virtual followers with stories of my day and my ideas is just too much responsibility.

During the course of yet another random bitch session on the stupidity of Social Media (a/k/a why don’t I have more friends/followers/hits), my friend bet me that I could not get 1000 followers on Twitter. Call it boredom. Call it curiosity. Call it whatever you want, but I took the bait.

So, now what? How do I go out and convince 574 people to follow me on Twitter, without bribing them or joining a follow group or anything else not quite on the up and up?
The services that are the building blocks of Social Media – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. – are deceptively easy to access. All you need do to take your place on your very own pulpit is to open an account and say something. (See? I’m doing it right now! Hi Mom!) You can say anything, really, a grunt will suffice, because content is key. Or was that context? It’s debatable, as it seems the terms are sadly interchangeable. Not only do these services provide us the opportunity to interact, in doing so they have, in turn, become multi-billion dollar industries in and of themselves. This means everyone is either actively using or actively not using their accounts.  They have it, even if they don’t use it. Like me.

So ease of access is not an issue. I get that. I already have the accounts, I have a decent base, and I have a network of people to exchange content. So now that I have a goal, a number to work towards, I am stumped. How do I start?

I’m giving myself a homework assignment.  I will look up 10 articles on how to increase my Twitter presence, and share my findings. Wish me luck!